Tuesday, June 8, 2010

Maybe "Bad Day" working title

"Shut the fuck up. Your bad day has just started."
"What the hell is wrong with you, man? These guys mean business up there. They're going to shoot both of us. Look at that one taking aim at your head."
The gunman quickly put his head behind Ross's. Ross laughed then started moving his head back and forth.
"You want to die asshole?"
"First of all I'm not an asshole and second of all I just lost four million dollars and my wife left me and the only thing I had left in this world was that Suburban that's upside down and just about to blow up with the only thing that ever loved me inside. My couch. So, dip shit, I think you picked the wrong asshole to hide behind."
Ross could feel the man give just a little knowing he didn't have a chance just because he had to run into the wrong asshole. Ross was in better than good shape and with that little loss of intent and with the speed of lightening he grabbed the hand with the gun and lifted it away from his head. The automatic started firing. He held the hand up with one hand and elbowed his ribcage hard with his other arm. Ross felt bones break as he tried for a huge gasp of air. He swung around twisting the gun hand and as the gunman was bending forward Ross's knee came up fast. His knee felt the guy's nose break as blood flew everywhere. He pulled the gun from the man's hand and cracked him over the head with it. The man crumpled and hit the ground face first. Ross looked at the gun and then with two fingers threw it about ten feet away. It went off again and he jumped and screamed like a little girl. He turned and gave the cops a sheepish grin then knelt on the gunman with his hands up.
"I really do want to give up, guys."
"Get off him and lay face down on the ground."
"I'm really not tired. As a matter of fact, I'm a little buzzed. Do you guys get to do this stuff all the time?"
The same cop started to get pissed. "Get down on the ground asshole or I'll put you there."
"Now that's the second guy that's called me an asshole in the last ten minutes. That one there ran into my car and just about killed me, then he had a gun to my head as you all had four to my guts. I haven't done anything that deserves your attitude. I'm going to see if my Suburban can be saved or at least some portion of it."
The cop tried to grab for him and as fast as he had grabbed the gun he moved out of the way. The cop staggered forward thinking he had him. One of the other cops jumped in.
"Come on, Jim, he's okay. Hell he kept us from getting shot. Let him alone."
He lunged at Ross one more time and again Ross just moved out of the way. The cop pulled his taser and shot at Ross. Ross moved again as one of the prongs clipped his shirt. The good cop grabbed the taser from Jim and yelled at him.
"Damn it, Jim, stop this shit now."
"Yeah, before I get hurt."
Ross walked off to see what had happened to his Suburban. He was pretty sure that the gunman probably didn't have insurance, if that other car was even his. Thank God he had full coverage, at least he thought he did. But the way this day was going he was betting that the damn insurance company was taking their damn sweet time posting his check. Of course, he thought he had enough money in the account but that would depend on whether or not the bank had obsconded with the rest of his money. This day was really turning to shit real quick. He was looking over the damage when one of the cops came up behind him and touched his shoulder to get his attention. It scared him half to death and he let out another girlie scream.
"Jesus, Mary and Joseph! Damn it, can't you hollor or something. I was just about shot a minute ago, my car is dead, my couch is terribly wounded, my wife has left me, and...oh my God I'm a country-western song."
"Hey I just wanted to tell you that Jim really isn't a bad guy, just a little trigger happy. And I also wanted to thank you for what you did to that guy. It was a good bust for us."
"Oh God, I'm so glad it was a good bust for you guys. It just makes my heart sing with praise to the Lord that something I've done is working for someone. What the hell am I going to do now?"
"Well, you'll need to go with us because you just took down one of the mob and you'll have to testify against him so you will probably qualify for witness protection."
"Oh what the hell. You mean I couldn't even get a easy criminal to deal with? Now I've got the mob after me."
"More than likely."

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